I’ve been feeling very strange lately, and dropping the ball on a lot of things. I’ve been only passively reading my Bardic Youth and Bardic Course, only occasionally going on my Greener Paths tumblr, stopped going on TC so often, and completely neglected both my Books of Mirrors and this blog (although I have a post for Litha and several PBP posts fully outlined on my computer). In non-internet, non-spiritual life, I’ve let my room get a mess, stopped doing daily ab workouts and sun salutations, have not been eating nearly as healthy, I do not sleep enough, my to-do list grows hourly, and have developed an obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer (currently halfway through season 3 and I only started watching last week). I’ve also gotten back into drinking coffee each morning, a habit I kicked last summer and never intended to start again.
All of these things have not left me feeling well. To be honest, I feel impatient, like I’m waiting for something to happen, or waiting for some part of my brain to wake up and organize my life so I can fit in everything that I need to do AND everything that I want to do. However, there is no powerful aspect of my brain or soul to help me. I know, and have known for many years, that my will power sucks. There is just me, and I’m going to have to make me work.